HELLO???
Why do the socks have pockets and not the shorts??? why is he such a bad engineer???
These are probably the tweets he wrote while on acid.
THEY ARE I’M DYING
Anonymous asked:
why do i keep waking up with scratches on my body
bundyspooks answered:
horny demon
Hey, this post may contain adult content, so we’ve hidden it from public view.

this is the money dog, repost in the next 24 hours and money will come your way!!
imagine the love of your life calling you his WIFE. im not saying i wanna be someone’s wife but…….i wanna be someone’s wife.
How the Logic of "Friendzoning" Would Work If Applied in Other Instances:
- *Man walks into a store and finds employee*
- Man: Alright, I've had enough. Why haven't you guys hired me?!
- Employee: Uh...well sir, when did you put in your application?
- Man: I never filled out an application.
- Employee: Well sir, we can't consider you for employment if you've never filled out an application.
- Man: No, that's bullshit, because I've been coming here for years now, and every single time I tell you all how much I love this store and how much I appreciate your customer service, unlike some of your other customers might I add!
- Employee: Well, but that doesn't-
- Man: AND I even told you that I didn't have a job!
- Employee: But sir, that doesn't indicate to us that you would like a job at our store. And again, if you've never filled out an application, we can't consider you. Besides, we're not hiring.
- Man: OH! Not hiring, HA! What a laugh. I see your store go through seasonal workers all the time. They come and go like nothing, but you won't consider me as a part-time employee even though I KNOW you've been looking for workers to fill positions? That's insane!
- Employee: Sir, we've been looking to hire a few people for management positions. Do you have any management experience?
- Man: Well no, but what does that matter?
- Employee: ...Well sir, that's what we're looking for. You won't be suitable for the position without management experience.
- Man: Oh that's such a load of crap. You know, you'll be waiting around a long time for a manager if you don't lower your standards a little. Who cares if someone knows how to manage a store? I LOVE this store and I'm willing to work here, that's all that should matter to you.
- Employee: That...doesn't make any sense.
- Man: NO! I'm done. This is over. From now on, no more Mr. Nice Guy.
- Employee:
- Man:
- Employee:
- Man: Fuck you, slut.
- murderer: (via text) im going to kill you
- me: (a week later) omg im so sorry... i saw this when i was in the middle of doing something else and then just completely forgot about it
“slurpee” just sounds like australian slang for a blowjob
Nah that’s Blowie
Actually its called a gobby in Australia
why do you guys think this statement does anything but prove my point
What are you supposed to do? Like in general?




